In a world where the orgasm gap is very real, one female entrepreneur is on an absolute mission.
A mission to empower women all over the world to take charge of their self-pleasure.
Lesley Cragg, the founder and owner of Your Pleasure Toys, (https://www.yourpleasuretoys.com) is working hard not only to remove the stigma attached to female pleasure, but also to encourage women to feel good in their bodies.
After digging through tons of research, she’s found that 80 percent of women struggle to reach orgasm with intercourse alone with direct clitoral stimulation usually needed in order to reach that elusive climax.
More of her research found that:
– Only 18.4 percent of women orgasm from vaginal sex alone (https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0092623X.2017.1346530)
– The Orgasm Gap: 95 percent of heterosexual men usually or always orgasm during partnered play (as opposed to 65 percent of women) (https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-017-0939-z)
– 59 percent of women have faked an orgasm (https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-019-01493-0)
Lesley believes that the solution to this fundamental issue lies with the ability that a woman has to pleasure themselves. And in doing more self-love, women are also better partners during couples play. “After all, if you can’t find your hot spots, how do you expect someone else to find them?” questions Lesley.
Sadly, it’s not as easy as it sounds. This is because experiencing sexual pleasure and orgasm for most women is not simply a physical affair—it’s a mental process too. While men are more hardwired to focus on the sensations felt during play, women often need a bit more.
Usually, this involves feeling relaxed, in the mood, and safe, which can prepare the female body for pleasure. For example, it can aid natural lubrication, making intercourse way more pleasurable, and higher levels of arousal.
“The thing about most women is that they seem to be in their own head during partnered play,” says Lesley. “Many find it difficult to stay in the present moment and instead, experience a wandering mind. They are also often plagued with things such as how their body looks during their intimate encounters”.
And this is why she’s working hard to encourage women to pleasure themselves, as a means to feel more powerful, connected, and sensual in their own bodies. “Orgasms begin in the mind,” states Lesley.
But are the odds actually stacked up against women when it comes to experiencing pleasure? Thinking back to sex education in schools, it was extremely rare, if not non-existent, for educators to talk earnestly about the female (and male) anatomy.
Being taught that sexuality and self-love as a holistic practice is good for you was never explored in schools. The good news is, it’s never too late to learn.
Indeed, there are a slew of mental and physical health benefits of masturbation, partnered play, and orgasm.
– Basking in a cocktail of feel-good hormones, such as oxytocin, endorphins, and dopamine, which promote feelings of closeness, connection, reward, and happiness.
– Better sleep due to the release of prolactin, a sleep-associated hormone.
– Less stress and anxiety because of the reduction of the stress hormone, cortisol.
– Short-term pain relief.
– Improved cardiovascular health.
– Stronger pelvic floor muscles, which can result in powerful orgasms and improved bladder functioning.
– Self-love and appreciation of one’s body and the amount of pleasure it can give us.
“But what good is knowing all that if you don’t know about your own sexual anatomy? says asks. She goes on to say:
“The clitoris is like an iceberg. The majority of it is actually inside of the vagina, not just that magical little button you see on the outside. It’s a root-like structure that can be stimulated deeply using certain sex toys,” (https://www.yourpleasuretoys.com)” she adds.
But Lesley goes further still when she advocates dual stimulation, which is when two highly-orgasmic parts of the female anatomy are stimulated at the same time, namely: the clitoris and the G-spot.
“The G-spot is a magical area, on the anterior wall of the vagina, five to eight cm above the opening,” says Lesley. “It’s actually a part of the clitoris, and when stimulated, has the power to shower you with mind-blowing orgasms.” In other words, internal and external stimulation could just be a game changer.
“The Tracy’s Dog Clitoral Suction Vibrator (https://www.yourpleasuretoys.com/products/tracys-dog-vibrating-massager-suction-vibrator) is my absolutely favourite,” proclaims Lesley. This dual stimulation sex toy uses a sucking sensation to stimulate parts of the clitoris we can’t see as well as the G-spot, in unison.
Lesley wants men and women worldwide to be made aware of the fact that the clitoris only serves one purpose: pleasure! And as it has 8,000 never endings (unlike the vagina, which serves other functions such as childbirth). The more nerve endings, more sensations and blissful orgasms.
It is a fact that women and men’s genitalia behave in a similar way during arousal. Both male and female sexual organs experience a rush of blood to the area. Why is the orgasm gap happening between the two sexes?
Lesley is passionate about all humans having a healthy sex life when she says: “At the end of the day, when I see a woman absolutely owning her sexuality, basking in that post-orgasm glow, and taking charge of her pleasure, either solo or with a partner, I feel even more proud to be part of the fairer sex,” “Women are magic, and we all need to see this sooner rather than later.”
